When I was a university student I was introduced to the saying, “You can never step in the same river twice.” This saying immediately resonated with me and has stayed with me to this day. More recently (on social media, I believe) I came across the saying, “Trauma changes us permanently.” These two sayings both speak about the evolutionary nature of human existence. We are changed by our experiences and can never again be the person we once were. We can reflect upon our past, we can cherish the person we were at certain times in our lives, but we cannot be that person again. We have been changed, partly by the ageing process, but more so by the experiences we have lived and the impact they have had on us.
This is something we may embrace, or we may rage against. Or this may be something to which we are ambivalent. Regardless, this is a fact of life. I think it is a valuable lesson to learn. As we walk our path sometimes we are moving forward, sometimes we are standing still, sometimes we are talking a step sideways. Although at times we may perceive ourselves to be going backwards, we are never stepping back into who we were and where we were at a previous time in our lives. That time is gone. That person is gone. We need to learn the lessons of those times and try to grow as a person, but as much as we may cherish the past, we cannot relive it.
Something along these lines has occurred in my life recently. In a sense I found myself back where I was about 4 years ago, however upon arriving back at that place I have discovered that the experience now is entirely different to what it was 4 years ago. I loved the person I was 4 years ago however I am not that person now and I have no desire to be that person any longer. That person was searching, embarking upon an adventure. The person I am now is more settled and content having achieved numerous life goals upon that adventure. Stepping back to that starting point is in fact not stepping back to that starting point at all, but rather stepping into a new point. If life is cyclical in nature I see it not so much as a circle but spiralling around like an organic slinkie, living and breathing and moving, spiralling around and around but still moving forward.
I suppose my point is simply to be aware of the past, who you were, where you were. Embrace your past, the experiences and the learnings both good and bad, gentle and harsh. Do not, however, yearn for the past. It is gone and it is not coming back. You will not become who you once were. If you step back there, the past will be but a shadow lingering around you. Every step, every moment, you are a new you. Every day is a chance to learn more, to grow. The past will guide us, but the present is a glorious new journey to embrace every time the sun rises and we open our eyes from slumber.
As Bono said, “It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away.” Thanks Bono.
Michael Cunliffe
The Thoughts Of Odvito 